Too Familiar? Parshat Ki Tissa and the Pitfalls of familiarity

I'm fairly certain that Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk (1843–1926) did not celebrate Valentine's Day (1). Or President's Day for that matter. In contrast, we know that he would have read parshat Ki Tissa in shul this week. And a poignant comment he makes in understanding the Chait Haeigel (Golden Calf) debacle sheds light on both secular holidays that bracket our parsha.

According to Ramban and others, the golden calf was not meant to be an idol. The Jews of that day feared that Moshe (Moses) had died and simply wanted to designate a new leader. That was to be the eigel's role -as the new Moshe.

Which begs the question: why not simply appoint Aharon (Aaron), a man of peace and God, Moshe's own brother, the person who had been there all along, the Vice President as it were; why not choose the obvious successor?

And of course the psychologically sophisticated answer (which shouldn't surprise us but somehow does) is that they took Aharon for granted. They wanted the shiny new toy. They picked the young calf they didn't know instead of the person who was there all along. (2)

Supply your own example, whether it is a parent, or child for that matter, whose love and gifts and time we only notice in the absence. Maybe the husband or wife callously tossed aside for a model 2.0 (pun intended), or, perhaps worse, those who continue to live together but without love and appreciation.

So while this is only a piece of the eigel story, we can walk away saying -Oh yeah, the golden calf, wasn't that when the Jews messed up by not appreciating how amazing the people near them truly were. (3)

It's an old story, but one that constantly plays out.
It's an old moral, but one made more tangible, and terrifying, with the linkage to the Golden Calf story.
Appreciation is elusive, and often comes in fits and starts. We need to build artificial ways and times to foster this sense of hakarat hatov.
We do that with God and blessing, 100 times a day.
We need to find ways to do those with the people we love as well -and as often.

-------


(1) For an interesting take on a Jewish approach to this holiday, please see my father's piece at http://www.aish.com/ci/s/A_Jewish_Valentines_Day.html

(2) This comment of Rav Meir Simcha is actually part of a story, and told in a sharper way. In short, when Rav Meir Simcha was passed up for a top rabbinical post in his own city, he expressed no surprise, saying, tartly I imagine, this is no surprise, look what happened....

(3) This includes themselves. I talk about this elsewhere, but in short, the very fact that the Jews felt they needed an intermediary between them and God was understandable (especially as former slaves), but mistaken. And that was something which post-sin, God and Moshe worked hard to correct.