Widows and Orphans and Strangers, Oh My

My headline is flip but the subject matter is anything but a joke.
And the Oh My, if we think about it, is a comment on just how far the Torah goes to protect those who most need our protection.

Parshat Yitro introduces not only law in the form of the 10 statements/dibrot, but also gives us a glimpse of the mercy behind the law(I'm thinking of that old ad campaign that says, The Softer Side of Sears). This mercy, in particular, is reserved for the defenseless. (1)

The extent of that mercy is actually shocking. According to Ibn Ezra, this is a rare instance where if you just WATCH someone else misbehave, you're as bad and as liable as the perpetrator. That's not true of murder or stealing, or the usual slew of shalt nots, but here, you started up with the wrong person.

And the Torah itself ironically, and dramatically, lays out the key punishment - you mess with widows and orphans, and what do you think will happen to your wife and kids? Yup, they'll turn into widows and orphans.

Growing up, we used to have that color war chant: don't mess with the best, because the best don't mess. What's unique from a moral perspective is that here we are being warned not to mess with the, well if not the worst, at least the weakest.

Amaleik attacks the weakest, kol hanechashalim akharekha, but from day 1 and Parsha 1 of our receiving the Torah we are given a different playbook. Protecting the weak is what will keep us strong, both practically (or we'll "hear from" God), and morally.

Don't think we're just talking about doing really bad stuff to widows and orphans. The Mechilta clarifies that the verse uses double language (if you aneih, ta'aneh -a doubling of afflict) to say, you need to sweat the small stuff too, big or little offenses are both a no-no(see, more double language).

Maimonides in some ways takes this further. In two places he expands the law: more than just refraining from doing them harm, you should teach them, help them, encourage them, and train them. He even, if you take a psychologically sophisticated reading, points to the sensitive balance needed in making sure that While you help them, you make sure they don't feel too much Like a victim.

The widow and the orphan are alone -and God adopts them.

Years ago, I remember sitting with a girlfriend whose father had a terminal illness. We were visiting Richard Joel (then at Hillel) and he shared something at once so personal and so poignant that I have never forgotten it. He mentioned that when he lost his father, as sad as it was, as tragic as it was, there was something almost mystical and uplifting about how we was then able to really appreciate and internalize the idea of God as his Father, capital F. When you have no father, the concept of Avinu Shebashmayim takes on a whole new dimension.

It is a beautiful and a comforting thought -what's perhaps more shocking, is to consider its role in the halakhot we have been describing.

God takes His responsibility seriously. He has an extra tie, however we can understand that, to the underdogs.

Which brings us to perhaps the most poetic and inspiring commentary I have ever seen, brought by the Kli Yakar.

We mentioned that God uses a double language when warning us not to start up with widows and orphans and strangers -

im aneih ta'aneh ..if you afflict/afflict

What we did not mention is that the Torah adds an object pronoun which just seems wrong, the word OTO, him, singular.

im aneih ta'aneh OTO..

Don't oppress/oppress HIM? Him? Him who? Don't we mean to say Them?

The Keli Yakar says the HIM is God, and when we hurt the widow or the orphan, or -fill in the blank re. people who most need our support - then we're also hurting God.

He adds a haunting image: picture, he says, that the victim is crying from earth, while God's sense of justice cries out from heavens above (the verse also has a double language of crying out), until God's mercy answers all cries and takes care of those who need His help and love.

Parshat Yitro not only teaches use to be kind to the stranger, but shows Moshe just doing that in the form of Yitro (2). We welcome not only Yitro, butYitro's suggestions (3). So Yitro is the stranger. And unfortunately, the examples of widows and orphans are common and constant.

May God's sense of mercy and love inspire our own acts of kindness.

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(1) Other than a few small additions and subtractions, this post and all of its sources come from a shiur by Rabbi Daniel Fridman of The Jewish Center; any mistakes are my own.
(2)This part is among my additions.
(3)I mean this seriously, not cynically; it is sometimes easier to accept a person that to accept their ideas, or to separate, as Rabbi Meir did, the wheat from the chaff of someone else's thought.

Victimless Crime? A lesson from a ramp, a challah cover and Parshat Yitro

We often hear about victimless crimes. I think at the end of Parshat Yitro, the torah raises the bar and quite possibly does away with this category completely. We are told that when the kohanim offer their sacrifices, they use a ramp -because if they took steps, they would inadvertently "flash" the stairs and that would be disrespectful.

Of course we know of other instances where we impute feelings to inanimate objects, most famously Friday nights where we don't want to offend the bread by drinking wine first. This isn't the pathetic fallacy referred to by literary theorists, or mumbo-jumbo spirituality. It's pretty clear that this is an exercise in what an HR department would term sensitivity training.

We don't care about a purported victim, because there is none. We practice because it helps US to have this sensitivity, even as some rabbis explain the goal of charity is as much to keep ourselves attuned to the needs of others as it is to pass on actual help.