Parshat Vayeira reveals Abraham's strong sense of justice. Going to bat for strangers, and really bad strangers at that, Abraham bargains with God: "Perhaps there are fifty righteous people within the city" he says -will that be enough to spare the town from destruction? Yes, says God. Abraham continues, upping the ante --or more accurately, lowering the ante: maybe 40 righteous people will be enough? Hmm, okay, how about 30? Let's make it 20. Would you settle for 10?
The very premise of appealing God's decision is bold; continually lowering the number of righteous residents required is bold; but perhaps the most shocking sentence in the bible appears at the very beginning of Abraham's negotiation. Pointing out that it would be unfair for good people to die as a result of others' sins, Abraham says:
"It would be a profanation for You to do such a thing, to put to death the righteous with the wicked, that the righteous should be treated like the wicked! It would be a profanation for You! Will the Judge (Ha-shofeit) of all the world not do justice (mishpat)? (Genesis 18:25)
While the operative word seems to be mishpat and the accurate themes that of justice and equality, the Midrash's elaboration takes us in a different direction. Here is what Abraham told God, according to Rabbi Shim'on ben Lakish:
"If you wish to maintain the world, there cannot be absolute justice; if you desire absolute justice, the world cannot exist...You want the world and yet you want absolute justice! If you do not forgo ever so little (of the realization of absolute justice), the world will be unable to exist." (1)
God, in this version, is being told He can't both eat and have his cake. Abraham isn't really arguing for justice; he is asking for God to act lifnim mishurat ha-din, beyond what is fair and just.
Abraham basically tells God: Are you within your rights to destroy S'dom and Amorah (Sodom and Gemorrah)? Sure.
Should you? Probably not.
Choose.
You can be a letter of the God, but you may not have too many people left to worship you; if you want the world to go on, you sometimes need to temper justice with compassion.
God agreed. (2)
That's the punch line and that is the lesson.
There may not be a S'dom and Amorah to be spared, but the Midrash's teaching is timeless.
On its face, the simplest application for us would be about how we see and judge others. (3) But I think there is something even more profound.
In self help parlance, people are asked: "Would you rather be right, or be happy?"
Like God, we have a choice - and we have to choose what we focus on.
Fighting for what we believe in, at the broadest level, is inspiring -and important.
But we all spend lots of time and energy fighting for what we (just plain) believe -and the what we believe is a much longer and sundry list of stupidities.
"I told you to park the car at a meter."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
Or:
"Seinfeld was the greatest show ever."
"That's absurd."
"You're Absurd."
You can supply your own examples.
It could be about what someone wore, or said, a fight about whose memory is more accurate or whose opinion is more valid.
Healthy discourse is fine. I am talking about a type of unhealthy discourse, passionate discussions where the passion can better be described as violent disagreement.
The kind of frivolous -- but frequent -- debates that transpire between husbands and wives, parents and children, friends, and co-workers.
Tempers flare, voices rise, and some comments which can never be taken back escape.
For what?? Ask these otherwise reasonable people -- if you can get their attention in the midst of their ranting and raving -- ask these people why they are fighting and invariably they will look at you as if you were the crazy one.
Because I am RIGHT they will say!
In school, we all learned of the philosophy that MIGHT was RIGHT; maybe this problem could be described as thinking that RIGHT needs to equal MIGHT.
Why fight? What did you gain? And, just as important, what do you lose?
Ok, maybe you are correct, you're RIGHT, she's wrong, but So what? What price are you willing to pay?
That is the significant lesson here that the Midrash leads us to -we have to choose.
God had His choice to make, and we have ours.
Ours is usually between what's right and what really matters.
And (if this is an exam, get ready for the answers in advance) you know what? You should always choose people over positions, and fellowship over fighting.
A nice image suggests itself if we consider the parsha's key metaphor --
of seeing and looking.
Let's explore that separate theme in full and, after noticing how it plays out in Vayeira, we can explore the image to which I am alluding.
We say, Vayeira eilav....God appears to Abraham (Genesis 18:1).
The word used (which also gives our parsha its name) is vayeira; it implies that God
not only appears, but is seen by Abraham.
In the next verse, Avraham see the stranger/angels who are passing by -the word va'ya'ar appears twice in this verse alone, and superfluously (4):
"He looked up and saw (va'ya'ar) that there were three men standing near him; he saw (va'ya'ar) and ran to greet them..." (Genesis 18:2).
The next instance of "seeing" involves Sarah.
Upon hearing that she will give birth, and in light of her advanced age, Sarah laughs -not even out loud. The bible describes Sarah as laughing "b'kirbah" -to herself (Genesis 18: 12). Immediately God "calls her out" so to speak. Sarah tries to deny it, but God says (and I picture two people bickering and the accuser responding with just the right tone) NOOO, you DID laugh. (Genesis 18: 15).
And so, without any "seeing"-related word, we still have a seeing-related message: there is no hiding from God.
God sees and God knows, and whether it is Adam and Eve hiding from God post-sin (5) or Sarah hiding her true thoughts and actions, it won't work.
The very next verse describes the angels and their looking at S'dom. We are still at the parsha's beginning. S'dom has not been mentioned. It's all been good news so far. Three unexpected guests show up; they are treated by Abraham and Sarah to impressive displays of hospitality; and then they let the cat out of the bag: Sarah will have a boy next year at this time, they promise. After the brief critique of Sarah mentioned above for her momentary laughter [taken as disbelief](6), the story resumes:
"The men [angels] rose from there and LOOKED OUT --va'yashkifu -- over S'dom...(Genesis 18: 16)."
The angels' have one more stop: they need to go to S'dom and save Lot. Whatever the city's fate, he --either in his own merit or as a relative of Abraham --lucks out.
And, as they part from Abraham, the angels look at/over/ahead to S'dom in verse 16.
Verse 17 begins with God answering a seemingly unasked question, as He explains the need to fill Avraham in, to tell him what is about to happen to S'dom:
"Hashem [God] said, 'Should I hide -ha-m'khaseh -from Abraham what I am about to do?"
...(Genesis 18: 17)."
This is a beautiful usage of seeing, similar in form and subtlety to the example with Sarah just a few verses before. (7)
God is saying, if I can see and know all -I want the same for Abraham.
That is the kind of open - and mutual - relationship I seek.
Four verses later, we again talk about seeing and God, but this next example is more straight-forard. God says:
"I will go down/descend and see (v'err-eh)..." (Genesis 18:21)
The reference is to God's checking out for Himself the situation in S'dom? Is it as bad as it seems? And, sadly, it was.
God's plan of destruction proceeds. The angels go to Lot's house. Having been well-trained by Abraham, Lot is the consummate host. In S'dom, no good deed goes unpunished and in moments, Lot's home is "surrounded" (Genesis 19:4), appeals for reason or compromise are ignored, and they are ready to huff, puff and blow the door down ("then they approached to break the door"; Genesis 19:9) so as to rape the visitors (who are actually angels).
And so, even before the angels save Lot from S'dom's larger destruction, they must save him that night. What do they do?
"Then they smote the men at the entrance of the house with blindness..." (Genesis 19:11)
Later in this same chapter, Lot is told he will be safe -and when and how to escape.
Part of this instruction and warning is that he not look back when fleeing:
"...Escape with your life. Do not look back..." (Genesis 19: 17)
When Lot's wife ignores this warning, she famously suffers:
"His wife looked behind him and she became a block of salt." (Genesis 19: 26)
The people of S'dom were made blind; Lot and his wife were allowed to see, but only if they directed their seeing in a certain way. And while Lot does not suffer his wife's fate, he is also tricked by his daughters who come to him under cloak of darkness (8) so as to sleep with him (Genesis 19:33-35).
Seeing is something that we can do, but that God controls. He is all seeing, and he can let us in to the sight/secret as he did for Abraham, or leave us in the dark.
In the very next chapter, we find an additional and intriguing example of seeing.
Abraham travels to the land of G'rar. As in the past, he pretends Sarah is his sister, and as in the past, Sarah is taken captive by the king. Finally, as in the past, God intervenes, Sarah is saved, and an aplogetic king makes amends.
Avimelech, the king of G'rar, gifts Abraham with flocks, servants and land. And then the king turns to Sarah and as part of a speech to her which confounds commentaries, he says "Hinei hu lakh c'sut eynamyim." (Genesis 20:16)
The words have something to do with covering eyes, but the exact meaning is unclear.
A fascinating interpretation appears in the Talmud in Bava Kama 93a. Avimelech tells Sarah, you blindfolded me, you tricked me, I thought Abraham was your brother because you said so; you hid the truth of who you were from my sight, and so I curse you -and that is what led to Sarah's son Isaac becoming blind.
And so we have another example of seeing and not seeing, as well as the related notion of hiding.
Abraham and Sarah return home, the saga of G'rar now behind them. The parsha continues with Chapter 21.
Sarah gives birth (Genesis 21:2), Abraham names the child Issac (Genesis 21:3), circmcises him (Genesis 21:4), and throws a big party on the occasion of Isaac's being weaned (Genesis 21:8).
But Sarah SEES something troubling: "vateireh Sarah" (Genesis 21:9; emphasis mine).
More seeing.
Whatever the specifics --and naturally the Rabbis have several different explanations to supplement the text's ambiguity -- Sarah SEES something that gives her pause.
This could be seeing in the physical sense , intuition, or even prophecy, but Sarah SEES trouble ahead.
She knows that Isaac has a role to play. She knows what God has promised and that Isaac must carry on Abraham's faith and be a leader. (This Jewish mother wanted her son to be neither a doctor nor a lawyer, but a rabbi -strange!)
And so, fearing that Abraham's older son Ishmael is a bad influence, Sarah asks Abraham to kick out the mother and child (Genesis 21:10). This does not sit well with Abraham; he is "greatly troubled" (Genesis 21:11), but after God instructs Abraham to listen to Sarah (Genesis 21:12), and reassures him that Ishmael too will have a bright future (Genesis 21:13), Ishmael and his mother Hagar leave Abraham's house, and journey in the desert of Be'er Sheva (Genesis 21:14).
Disaster strikes immediately, "their water in the jug is gone" (Genesis 21:15), and convinced that all hope was lost, Hagar walks away from Ishmael saying, "let me not SEE the death of the child..." (Genesis 21:16; emphasis mine).
Salvation comes right away. God keeps his promise to Abraham; Ishmael, too, will be a great nation. An angel comforts Hagar and then:
"God opened her eyes and she SAW a well of water. She went and filled the jug with water and gave the boy to drink." (Genesis 21:19; emphasis mine)
Hagar didn't want to see her son suffer but she was also incapable of seeing, even the well which was right in front of her. With God's help, she is made to see. (9) No sooner are her eyes opened than she realizes, as so many of us do, that what she wanted was there the whole time.
Once again, the notion of God's role in our seeing, as well as how often we are blind and blinded (10), is stressed.
The next chapter, chapter 22, relates the well known story of the akeidah, the binding of Isaac.
God commands: "Please take your son, your only one, whom you love, Isaac, and go for yourself to the Moriya region and offer him up there as a burnt-offering on one of the hills that I shall designate to you." (Genesis 22:2)
As difficult as it is for us to fully comprehend the story and Abraham's total faith and trust, Abraham pushes himself and even gets up early (Genesis 22:3) to follow God's word.
On the third day of his travels, Abraham "looked up and saw the place from afar." (Genesis 22:4) Our Rabbis understand this seeing as being more like sensing -Abraham understood the holiness of this place, which would also be the site of the holy Temple. And according to the Midrash, Isaac was similarly attuned. (11)
They both SAW and SENSED something spiritual, and responded to it.
But that is only part of the story.
Isaac WAS in the dark, metaphorically, even before his ultimate blindness. Isaac doesn't know what is in store, doesn't realize HE is meant to be the sacrifice: "The fire and the wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burnt-offering?" he asks (Genesis 22:7).
Abraham answers.
"Elohim yir'eh lo ha-seh l'olah, b'ni (Genesis 22:8)."
Some translate this simply, assuming the subterfuge continued:
"God himself will see to the lamb for the burnt-offering, my son," a plausible answer for a man of faith (12)
Others translate this as the moment when Abraham levels with Isaac: "God will make YOU (lo, in Hebrew) the lamb for the burnt-offering, my son."
The ambiguity surrounding this verse is fitting, as if to say the text itself is veiled.
Isaac, we think, is about to be slaughtered, but the suspense doesn't last long.
As with Ishmael, Isaac's rescue comes quickly --and via an angel.
"[And the angel] said, "Do not raise your hand to the boy and do not harm him, because now I know that you are one who fears God...(Genesis 22:12)
The angel saves Isaac, but also enlightens us. The Hebrew words for God-fearing are yirei elohim, and while yir'eh means fear, it is meant to evoke our parsha's key words: yir'eh is like vayeireh -Abraham sees what God wants from him (13).
Immediately after learning that Isaac will be saved, and then "Abraham looked up and saw that a ram had its horns entangled in the tree, so Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt-offering in place of his son." (Genesis 22:13)
Abraham was seeing, but not fully seeing -like Hagar he needs to be made aware of the salvation that is right before him.
In the very next verse Abraham names this all important spot/place (14)
"Abraham named that place, Hashem Yir'eh -- About it later generations will say, 'This is the mountain on which Hashem (God) reveals Himself.'" (15) (Genesis 22:14)
There are nuances to seeing. Abraham knows more than Isaac. Isaac knows more than the servants. Isaac may either know the whole story before Abraham binds him, or he may not.(16) Abraham at the akeidah sees Isaac, but needs to be shown the ram.
It's not the only thing that Abraham doesn't see. Blinded by his love for Ishmael, Sarah can see what Abraham does not, and so God tells him to listen to her. Hagar might know some things that Lot's wife did not (See my note 7). The angels know many things that humans don't, but it is likely they who don't see the need to tell Abraham about S'dom -and they are wrong. Avimelech was fooled, but then sees what he perceives as injustice, and he may well be right. At the same time, he cannot see himself for who he truly is: he mistakenly believes Abraham would have been safe had he always identified himself as Sarah's husband.
We have touched both on the prevalence of seeing and looking themes in parshat Va'yeira and identified some of what these images may be meant to suggest.
Now let's return to the Midrash about S'dom, to the notion that God and all of us must occasionally give up being right in order to be happy.
Using the new verbiage we have, and focusing on the interpersonal, this parsha reminds us that we can...
...either see what's there, or see what we want to be there...
...we can look, or we can overlook...
If we let people live in to and up to their potential, give them the benefit of the doubt, encourage them, focus on what they do, and not on what they don't do, see what they can be -even before they sometimes see the good in themselves - then, like God himself we will be compassionate and we will be holy.
Vision is a gift from God.
Parsta Va'yeira reminds us to use that gift properly.
Let's look away from others' mistakes and foibles,
from any hurts we feel we suffered, or slights we feel we've been given.
Let's look to the bigger picture of love and friendship, as well as service of God and dedication to things we treasure.
If we truly learn and live this lesson, we will have earned the right to see the final redemption; then again, if we truly learn and live this lesson, the final redemption won't be all that different from our daily lives and experiences.
We will grow used to seeing the appreciation of our friends and our family as we "cut them slack" and look the other way. We will also see how much better we feel when we know what's worth looking at, and when to look away. (17)
Lot's wife looked when she shouldn't have; we know better.
Notes:
1) Note: while our Midrash sources this idea of tempering justice with compassion to Abraham at this point in time, a similar thought is identified with the very first verse in the Bible. "It says God created -- And it does not say "Hashem created" [i.e., the Torah refers to the Creator by the name Elokim, signifying strict justice, rather than by the 4-letter Name Hashem, signifying mercy], because initially [God] thought to create [the world] with the attribute of strict justice. But [God] saw that the world would not last [if governed only with strict justice], so He had the attribute of mercy precede and partner with the attribute of strict justice, and so it is written: "In the day that Hashem God created earth and heaven" (Genesis 2:4) [i.e., the name denoting mercy preceding the one denoting strict justice]."
2) S'dom and Amorah were destroyed but only because the more relaxed compassionate conditions were also not satisfied.
3) On Yom Kippur one sin for which we ask forgiveness is the sin of judging others.
4) The repetition of va'ya'ar is so odd that the second va'ya'ar is sometimes translated as referring to Abraham's perceiving something about the strangers. I am suggesting that it is extra emphasis pointing to the parsha's key word and theme.
5) "They heard Hashem, God's, voice moving in the western part of the garden, and the man and his wife hid from Hashem, God, among the trees of the garden." (Genesis 3:8) Note in both Adam and Sarah's case, the text explains/justifies their actions as having been out of fear: Adam said, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid because I am naked, so I hid" (Genesis 3:10). About Sarah, it says, "Sarah denied it, saying, "I did not laugh," because she was afraid...(Genesis 18:15).
6) Sarah's reaction, and God's response to it, span Genesis 18: 12-15.
7) Since verse 17 uses the word and idea of hiding and verse 15 does not, we might also say that verse 17 helps us "see" the seeing imagery implicit in verse 15.
8) Jewish tradition actually aspires noble motives to the daughters and blames Lot. The daughters' noble motives are alluded to in the text itself, but Lot's guilt is derived from a dot in the text as well as various traditions. The simpler meaning of the text is that Lot was innocent and tricked, bith by drink and the fact that it took place at night when presumably he might have mistook his daughters for other women.
9) Chazal criticize Hagar for leaving her son, but there is almost a midda k'neged middah (measure for measure reward) hinted at here. Perhaps Hagar's respect for the power of seeing, Hagar's sensitivity to not look at his suffering helps earn her the right to then see the well. Hagar represents rhe counterpoint to Lot's wife; Lot's wife was told not to look at others, not to watch them suffer. Hagar understood this without needing to be told.
10) The words here are no doubt also foreshadow the story of Bil'am, prophet of the nations. On his way to curse the Jeiwsh people, Bil'am's donkey stops repeatedly, infuriating Bil'am. Only then does God "open his eyes" and this prophet realizes that an angel of God was blocking the way. In the case of Bil'am he was blinded, but his donkey was not -until God let him in on the joke, and warning. The warning goes unheeded. Interestingly, in our parsha we find a further connection between the Bil'am story when Abraham and Isaac, en route to the akeida, leave the servants with their donkeys. According to some traditions (see note 9) the servants are compared to the donkeys as being equally clueless. So we have perhaps the first donkey story -where the donkey, and a few servants, are blind as expected and it sets up and further highlights the contrast when we are to reach the Bil'am story
11) According to the Midrash, Abraham says to Isaac: "My son, do you see, as I do, a cloud close to the mountain?" He replied, "Yes." The Abraham asked the two servants what they saw. They answered, "Nothing." He said to them: "Since the donkey sees nothing and you see nothing, stay with the donkey at the foot of the mountain" (Genesis Raba, 56)
12) It is also an accurate description of what ultimately happens. Abraham is told to leave Isaac and he finds an animal already caught, and ready to be slaughtered.
13) Isaac is safe and --depending on how you understand the lesson of the akeidah
--Abraham also knows what type of God he is working for: a God of compassion; a melech (king) not molech, who asked worshippers to burn their babies and so on. That is not the way of Hashem, something Abraham intuitively knew, but which is now confirmed.
14) The word used in Hebrew is ha-makom; the same word appears to designate the place where Abraham's grandson Jacob would rest when on the run from his brother Esau. Jacob awaked ans recognizes that the spot where he slept is holy, and he had been unaware. This lack of awareness (v'anochi, anochi lo yada'ati -and I, I did not know)is a continuation of our theme, a blind spot for Jacob, but only a partial one as he ultimately comes to the recognition of where he is and of the holy angels who would accompany him on his missions.
15) Note that in naming the place, Abraham uses the word yir'eh, noun for both seeing and fearing (depending on vocalization). This clues the reader into how to interpret the description (2 verses earlier; 22:12) of Abraham as a yir'ei elohim. It is the same form and even as in verse 14, Abraham explicitly uses the word for yir'ah to connote seeing, we should likewise understand the description of Abraham as yir'ei elohim to mean one who SEES and perceives G-d, not merely one who fears God.
16) According to one Midrash, Isaac become blind at the akeidah (binding) when a tear from an angel falls into his eye. This is an extra layer and tension reflecting how mch Isaac sees or doesn't see in the current story.
17) In Hebrew there is a word, l'sanein, to filter, that my father in law alav ha-shalom would always cite. Ignore things, let them roll off you. My own father, amu’sh, once gave an entire Rosh Hashana sermon about the food farfel (egg barley). There is a custom to eat farfel on Rosh Hashana –as an allusion to the word farfallen, to forget (in Yiddish). There is a need to forget, and a value to the fact that we all can forget. It’s not just passive though: we should actively seek to forget insults and frustrations. There is wisdom in the English expression “forgive and forget” but it is out of order: the true order is often, make a decision to forget and overlook, and then you will be able to forgive.
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