Parshat Pinchas: Peace in this World, and Before

Pinchas' zeal is rewarded with a covenant of peace.

What is peace, and how can we keep peace in our own lives?

There is a fascinating Midrash at the beginning of B'reishit.

God is debating whether or not to create the world. And so, the Midrash suggests, he takes a poll.

Four "experts" are assembled: chesed (kindness), emet (truth), tzedek (justice) and shalom (peace.)

Chesed voices a strong, Yes: man should be created because he will do good deeds. Emet, says that man should not be created because all he will do is lie, and distort truth. Tzedek, like chesed, votes in favor of creation so that man can do acts of righteousness. Shalom, peace, gets the final vote: absolutely not, says Shalom, all man will do is fight.

So the score is two votes for and two votes against. It's a hung jury. So what does God do? He throws Emet to the ground. Now with the score two to one, God creates man.

This midrash is fascinating, but I think its true significance is often overlooked. At one level, itself beautiful, the midrash makes clear that God could have ended the deadlock by overruling either shalom or emet. He chose to do away with truth, and the eternal lesson is that when choosing between shalom and emet, we should always pick peace. In fact, this preferred behavior becomes law: "mutar l'shanot mipnei haShalom," it is permitted to lie for the sake of peace.

If we elaborate on this idea, and other ideas it may lead to, then I think we will find the Midrash reaches a startlingly different conclusion. Let me explain.

There are countless times and ways we all choose between truth and peace. It's neither an abstraction, nor limited to the scene of husband and wide, readying to leave the home, as the wife innocently inquires, "Honey, does this make me look fat?"

When friends and spouses argue, proverbially digging in their heels, what they often attach these metaphorical heels to is a conviction in their own point of view. "But I am right!!" they scream, "She/He is wrong."

Those lucky enough to get good advice, from sources as varied as business consultants, therapists and rabbis, will get an earful of the philosophical equivalent of, "So what?"

Stubborn Simcha or Adamant Aviva will be asked: "Would you rather be right, or happy?"

In a slight altering of the famous "Might makes right" slogan, we can say that when it comes to marriage and all our most precious relationships, when we put a premium on "right" it leads to "fight."

The good news is that the choice is ours. When we put people ahead of positions, when what we value is the relationship, and not the "truth", then there's a chance for love, happiness, and peace.

One deservedly well-known explanation of how we hang our mezzuzahs on the doorpost concretizes this idea. The Rabbis were unsure of whether to hang the mezzuzah from top to bottom, or from side to side. Instead, and oddly, we hang the mezzuza diagonally. Neither of the two rabbis who were debating the law would be satisfied. In fact, they would probably find this solution to be the worst of all proposed. "If anything," they would say, "we know it's NOT meant to hang that way."

And yet we hang the mezzuzah on a diagonal, right outside our homes, to emphasize the importance, even necessity, of compromise in a Jewish home.

Let's not forget the context: it's important to compromise even when the end result is clearly not optimal, not correct, not TRUE. We hang the mezzuzah the wrong way, because when God in the midrash above threw Emet to the ground, it wasn't a one-time occurence but a lesson for what WE should do every time truth gets in the way: in the way of our goals, in the way of shalom bayit, and it the way of broader peace.

If we truly understand the midrash, we can restate its conclusion: Shalom is not overruled. Once we are willing to veer from truth out of concern for others, then Shalom, too would want the world to be created, because peace can have a chance.

Each of the four queried by God based their answers on what the future would hold. Man will do chesed; man will lie; man will do tzedek; man will fight.

But the facts on the ground changed. God, by example, told us truth would be sacrificed, not just then, but continually if we want peace. God gave us a blueprint for happiness.

And so Peace saw a different possible ending. Peace changed its vote.

Three votes were now in favor of creating the world, and of course the world was created and we are here.

It becomes our responsibility to show Peace and God "Your faith in us was justified. We know what we need to do. And we are prepared to do whatever it takes to transform the world into a true home for Hashem."

Hashem's home, like ours, needs shalom bayit, and so we hope that all men and women, all families and friends, all countries and nations will unite. We will look after each other and create peace, but that's just the backdrop. Remember the other "players" in the Midrash. Peace is an ingredient, not the finished product. While living in peace, let's get back to our role in this world: contributing acts of chesed and tzedek.